Plays
If you wish to read any of the plays listed below or apply for rights to perform a script please email the author direct [email protected]
(The pantomime script, Peter Pan, is available on the 'Pantomime' page)
Don’t Go There (2001)
First performed Auckland, 2001
2 acts; 1 interior set; 4 characters – 2 men, 2 women
A modern, adult black comedy about the taboos we place on ourselves and our embarrassment when others speak of them.
Lindy and Jake are a couple who don’t quite see eye to eye on what should and shouldn’t be talked about when they are out with friends. Opinions turn to arguments until they decide that one night anything is open for discussion. But then they meet Sue and Andy, experts at the taboo game, and Lindy and Jake realize they are mere amateurs who have met their match…
An outrageous black comedy for four actors, Don’t Go There had its premiere audience crying with laughter and cringing with embarrassment at the taboos they themselves were not comfortable with. A comedy that illustrates that beneath all the games and banter of a modern marriage there is real pain, history and suffering.
It’s Not You… it’s Me! (2003)
First performed, Auckland 2004
2 acts; 1 exterior set; 8 characters – 4 men, 4 women
(UK version in preparation)
A new comedy/farce set in the home and garden of Mark and Mel on Christmas Day. Family and old school friends assemble; an odd and diverse mix of friendships that could only have been forged over many years of persistence.
Mark has a secret but events and innocent friends conspire against him so he has to front up and confess to an affair. Events and relationships start going downhill from there but when it turns out Mark is having an affair with Steve, Captain of the local rugby team, the proverbial fan spreads the shit everywhere!
A very funny and tender bitter-sweet comedy, both farcical and poignant about the foibles of friendship, the folly of mis-placed hero worship and… floating cheese!
Thrill of the Chaste (2005) – (Review available)
First performed, Auckland 2006
2 acts; 1 interior set; 6 characters – 2 men, 4 women
A comedy based on Marivaux’s 18th Century play, ‘Les Serments Indiscrets’
“When sex is the last thing on your mind, how come it’s the first thing on offer?”
A week out from their wedding, Danny and Lucy reach the conclusion that they don’t wish to marry the other, in fact the thought of marrying Danny was making Lucy physically sick!
So as to not lose face, Lucy concocts a plan involving the hapless Danny seducing her sister. Lucy can ‘pretend’ to discover the infidelity and cancel the wedding. Neither of them however banked on the fact that a single, sexually inept Danny would prove to be irresistible to the opposite sex. And once other women see the attraction, Lucy stops at nothing to re-stake her claim.
An adult comedy that deals with why certain people ‘click’ and the fact that there is someone out there for all of us… it just isn’t necessarily the person you’re in love with.
Bunny Boiler! (2009)
“When Good Affairs Go Bad…”
Awaiting Premiere
2 acts; composite set;
4 leads – 2 men, 2 women;
4 company – 2 men, 2 women (doubling)
An adult, black comedy.
Be-Be is the stalker from hell… and not only does she know it, she loves it. She takes us on a behind-the-scenes look at what makes stalkers like her tick. What makes them fall for married men and what makes them keep falling long after he has gone back to his wife?
Be-Be takes us on a journey illustrating the start of a typical affair, the breakdown, the meltdown, the make-up, the sex, the fights, the humour, the weakness of men and the strength of the kind of woman who believes in their fateful right, to be right!
Accompanied by every stalkers chief accessory, the non threatening gay friend, Be-Be enjoys the highs and lows of her life, resulting in what can only be termed as futile attraction.
A black comedy for adults and the modern stage, involving farce, song, dance, a composite set, quick change and doubling of characters and a suspension of disbelief and fantasy required by the audience to go along with Be-Be’s story. A theatrical comedic take on an otherwise very serious theme.
Opus Corpus (2005)
2 acts; 1 interior set; 5 characters – 2 men, 3 women
(Premiere available – in revision stage)
A comedy thriller that pays homage to the days of Sleuth; Deathtrap and a splash of Agatha Christie.
All around the world 18th Century Italian violins are emerging from years of exile. Countries, Governments and races are arguing over who owns the instruments after many were stolen during Hitler’s rampage through Europe.
From this fact, Opus Corpus has its main character, musician and lyricist Leo Tate, trace one such violin from its creation in 18th century Italy through WW2 to the modern day. The intriguing thing about this particular violin is that it was made while its creator, Del Gesu was himself in exile and the instrument was never officially recorded, thus it doesn’t actually exist.
Leo will stop at nothing to own this violin, which, he hopes, will break the depressing greyness that has descended on his own musical work. His sister however is not so sure the effort is worth it, and it’s not until family history comes into play that we begin to see that maybe Leo is not the obsessed one after all.
Send in the Clones (1995)
2 acts; 1 interior set; 8 characters – 5 men, 3 women
(Withdrawn for revision)
A farcical look at the insane world of genetic engineering – written when topical in the UK.
Dr. Shelley runs the ‘autobairn’ clinic providing ‘made to measure’ babies to those willing to pay. Couples who prefer not to let their child’s future be dictated by nature can order the exact baby they want, simply by filling in a blueprint. Shelley and partner, Dr. Byron, deliver the order and bank the cheque. Business is booming and Shelley is even in line for the Nobel Peace Prize for science. However, on the very day a member of the select committee is due to arrive to consider the clinics suitability there is a mix up with injections and patients: Mrs. Smith is going to give birth in 9 minutes, not 9 months and Mr. Smith? He’s expecting as well!
Excited at first at the prospect of having the first pregnant man as a patient, Shelley soon realizes it may not be such a positive image to promote after all. He also has to deal with Mrs. Smiths now born baby, a child that seems to be growing by an inch every ten minutes. The Smiths must be silenced!
Farce then takes over with swinging doors, murder, extra-marital affairs, mistaken identities and Shelley’s nymphomaniac wife determined to reveal her husband for the two-timing, money pinching transvestite he is.
A black farce that shows up the marvels of modern science for what they really are; illustrating parallels with Hitler’s master race and Frankenstein.
All plays, material and scripts are copyright A Ramsel
First performed Auckland, 2001
2 acts; 1 interior set; 4 characters – 2 men, 2 women
A modern, adult black comedy about the taboos we place on ourselves and our embarrassment when others speak of them.
Lindy and Jake are a couple who don’t quite see eye to eye on what should and shouldn’t be talked about when they are out with friends. Opinions turn to arguments until they decide that one night anything is open for discussion. But then they meet Sue and Andy, experts at the taboo game, and Lindy and Jake realize they are mere amateurs who have met their match…
An outrageous black comedy for four actors, Don’t Go There had its premiere audience crying with laughter and cringing with embarrassment at the taboos they themselves were not comfortable with. A comedy that illustrates that beneath all the games and banter of a modern marriage there is real pain, history and suffering.
It’s Not You… it’s Me! (2003)
First performed, Auckland 2004
2 acts; 1 exterior set; 8 characters – 4 men, 4 women
(UK version in preparation)
A new comedy/farce set in the home and garden of Mark and Mel on Christmas Day. Family and old school friends assemble; an odd and diverse mix of friendships that could only have been forged over many years of persistence.
Mark has a secret but events and innocent friends conspire against him so he has to front up and confess to an affair. Events and relationships start going downhill from there but when it turns out Mark is having an affair with Steve, Captain of the local rugby team, the proverbial fan spreads the shit everywhere!
A very funny and tender bitter-sweet comedy, both farcical and poignant about the foibles of friendship, the folly of mis-placed hero worship and… floating cheese!
Thrill of the Chaste (2005) – (Review available)
First performed, Auckland 2006
2 acts; 1 interior set; 6 characters – 2 men, 4 women
A comedy based on Marivaux’s 18th Century play, ‘Les Serments Indiscrets’
“When sex is the last thing on your mind, how come it’s the first thing on offer?”
A week out from their wedding, Danny and Lucy reach the conclusion that they don’t wish to marry the other, in fact the thought of marrying Danny was making Lucy physically sick!
So as to not lose face, Lucy concocts a plan involving the hapless Danny seducing her sister. Lucy can ‘pretend’ to discover the infidelity and cancel the wedding. Neither of them however banked on the fact that a single, sexually inept Danny would prove to be irresistible to the opposite sex. And once other women see the attraction, Lucy stops at nothing to re-stake her claim.
An adult comedy that deals with why certain people ‘click’ and the fact that there is someone out there for all of us… it just isn’t necessarily the person you’re in love with.
Bunny Boiler! (2009)
“When Good Affairs Go Bad…”
Awaiting Premiere
2 acts; composite set;
4 leads – 2 men, 2 women;
4 company – 2 men, 2 women (doubling)
An adult, black comedy.
Be-Be is the stalker from hell… and not only does she know it, she loves it. She takes us on a behind-the-scenes look at what makes stalkers like her tick. What makes them fall for married men and what makes them keep falling long after he has gone back to his wife?
Be-Be takes us on a journey illustrating the start of a typical affair, the breakdown, the meltdown, the make-up, the sex, the fights, the humour, the weakness of men and the strength of the kind of woman who believes in their fateful right, to be right!
Accompanied by every stalkers chief accessory, the non threatening gay friend, Be-Be enjoys the highs and lows of her life, resulting in what can only be termed as futile attraction.
A black comedy for adults and the modern stage, involving farce, song, dance, a composite set, quick change and doubling of characters and a suspension of disbelief and fantasy required by the audience to go along with Be-Be’s story. A theatrical comedic take on an otherwise very serious theme.
Opus Corpus (2005)
2 acts; 1 interior set; 5 characters – 2 men, 3 women
(Premiere available – in revision stage)
A comedy thriller that pays homage to the days of Sleuth; Deathtrap and a splash of Agatha Christie.
All around the world 18th Century Italian violins are emerging from years of exile. Countries, Governments and races are arguing over who owns the instruments after many were stolen during Hitler’s rampage through Europe.
From this fact, Opus Corpus has its main character, musician and lyricist Leo Tate, trace one such violin from its creation in 18th century Italy through WW2 to the modern day. The intriguing thing about this particular violin is that it was made while its creator, Del Gesu was himself in exile and the instrument was never officially recorded, thus it doesn’t actually exist.
Leo will stop at nothing to own this violin, which, he hopes, will break the depressing greyness that has descended on his own musical work. His sister however is not so sure the effort is worth it, and it’s not until family history comes into play that we begin to see that maybe Leo is not the obsessed one after all.
Send in the Clones (1995)
2 acts; 1 interior set; 8 characters – 5 men, 3 women
(Withdrawn for revision)
A farcical look at the insane world of genetic engineering – written when topical in the UK.
Dr. Shelley runs the ‘autobairn’ clinic providing ‘made to measure’ babies to those willing to pay. Couples who prefer not to let their child’s future be dictated by nature can order the exact baby they want, simply by filling in a blueprint. Shelley and partner, Dr. Byron, deliver the order and bank the cheque. Business is booming and Shelley is even in line for the Nobel Peace Prize for science. However, on the very day a member of the select committee is due to arrive to consider the clinics suitability there is a mix up with injections and patients: Mrs. Smith is going to give birth in 9 minutes, not 9 months and Mr. Smith? He’s expecting as well!
Excited at first at the prospect of having the first pregnant man as a patient, Shelley soon realizes it may not be such a positive image to promote after all. He also has to deal with Mrs. Smiths now born baby, a child that seems to be growing by an inch every ten minutes. The Smiths must be silenced!
Farce then takes over with swinging doors, murder, extra-marital affairs, mistaken identities and Shelley’s nymphomaniac wife determined to reveal her husband for the two-timing, money pinching transvestite he is.
A black farce that shows up the marvels of modern science for what they really are; illustrating parallels with Hitler’s master race and Frankenstein.
All plays, material and scripts are copyright A Ramsel